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Welcome to InsubordiNation’s 2007 Golden Finger Awards for Cinema… What’s that you say? It’s almost May of 2008, who longer gives a shit about movies from last year? Well, we’d love to give you some smart-ass quip about how we’re the only source that truly matters for counting down the yearly best films and you fuckers should be throwing roses at our feet for even offering our opinions regardless of how late to the game we may be… but… aw, fuck it, you’re right. What can we say? We’re slackers and we’ve been dragging our feet, preoccupied with trivial matters like the presidential election. We offer no quips, just apologies. The bell has rung, we’re tardy and there’s no real excuse.
However, regardless of our unpunctual attendance, we present to you our picks for the best films from 2007. So, how did last year fair for movies? Well, as always, judge not upon the box office revenues. 2007 once again proved without a doubt that the movie going public at-large really loves awful, trite bullshit. Among the top grossing films of the year were three films which became trilogies that absolutely did not need a third film– Spiderman 3, Shrek the Third, and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End.
We saw Michael Bay (who in a just world would have been sent to the gallows long ago) continue to make the most egregious, insipid, unintentionally hilarious shit-fests guaranteed to make a billion dollars with Transformers. (You just know Uwe Boll jerks off to a photo of Michael Bay every night) And the smash-hit 300 showed us yet again that you can stay relatively true to the source material and still make Frank Miller’s graphic novels into shitty films (see Sin City, or rather, don’t see it). So, if you, like us, are still experiencing shell-shock from going to the theaters last year (trust us, we still wake up screaming with visions of Optimus Prime in our heads), then perhaps you need a break from all the bullshit. Perhaps you need a convenient, numbered list of quality films from last year that won’t give you nightmares— well, look no further.
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